Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 13: Not talking nice, not following directions.

Before I begin, I have to put up this timeline to help clarify my mood/anger/resentment/justification and all around bitchiness with this subject matter. I try, at least, to be fair in my judgment of the situation and while I've got a fire under my rear, I have a pretty loud bark but it takes a lot for me to bite. Since I'm catching you up to speed, I'm leaving some of the good out because this is about the bad.

It wasn't until after Logan's 6th birthday, around the end of January, that he had a good week. What I mean by good week is a collection of stars, smiley faces and stickers in the margin of his planner book designated for the teacher to remark on his behavior. School started in the 3rd week of August -so approximately 5 and a half months, even around Christmas with threats that Santa reads his planner (technically he does), we could not make one solid week of good behavior.

My please and thank you, open your door, ask you how your day was, pick up his toys by his own volition, helpful with the laundry, dishes, and all cleaning duties we will allow, pick up dog poop, make his own bed despite living in a house where beds are not made, thoughtful, caring, mindful, rarely needed but easily persuaded to do the right thing, sharing without prompting, courteous, loving little boy took longer than half the school year to have a good week. Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Up until that point, the best week he had was 3 out of 5 good days -the week before Christmas. If he had good days it was usually once a week and those were intermittent. Now, I wasn't expecting perfection, but definitely expecting the good to outweigh the bad.

Now that his behavioral situation is "explained" (....depending on how you look at it....)

We have had 4 meetings with Mrs. H in all. The first meeting the first week of school was met with, "I'm listening to you but I have to get this stuff done." so we tried to talk with her while she complained about the mountain of work she had while we were trying to figure out how/why Logan was having a bad day.

Second Meeting: A week later, the second week of school, of kindergarten, when I came to pick him up, she screamed at me about how horrible he was. In front of other parents, in front of his class, in front of Logan. Now, by this time I had been paying attention. Mrs. H had 23 5-6 year olds in her class. Long story short, I got a profuse apology from her, the principal and things improved for a week after that-then basically went right back to the bad days.

Third meeting: ADHD was brought up. So we would go and get him tested. We did (this was around his birthday) and his doctor said he had situational ADHD because, and I quote, "The teacher doesn't sound like she's got her shit together and can't control the class." Yes, reviewing everything made it bad enough for the doctor to curse (out of Logan's earshot, of course)

Fourth meeting we tell her that we're not pursuing anymore of this ADHD stuff, his doctor believes that the environment in the classroom is the culprit and we talked with her about how he responds to things. He is more apt to do something if he feels like he's going to get a reward -which is as simple as saying, "Good job!" (which came with a defense, of course, I mean how could we possibly think she's a negative person with all the previous examples of her behavior)

So from about early February to early April -a little over two months, I haven't been terrified of hearing how horrible my son has been, everyday, when I go to pick him up. But since his last bout of being ill with a virus, his little clique's no longer want to have anything to do with him, he's getting picked on and generally in a foul mood. That was his words yesterday and hers were 'not talking nice, not following directions'. We'll see what today brings. If it's another bad day, I'm going to ask Mrs. H how she would feel if she felt that she was getting picked on and not being listened to.   Sorry for the long post, hopefully I've explained the situation!

.....7 weeks, 3 days. We're almost done with this crap!


Anonymous said...

You could always take him out now. It doesn't sound like he's learning much.

Dee said...

I could....I'm tempted. But mainly daddy wants to instill the importance of finishing things...not that we can't finish things during homeschool, but daddy really wants him to finish. (lol, am I being too obvious?) We'll see how today goes when I pick him up- with the way things are, I might get enough ammo to go ahead and take the plunge.

Anonymous said...

If days are this bad, there is certainly nothing wrong with stopping now. This isn't about quitting. This is about giving a child the environment they need to learn and thrive.

Whatever you decide - take him out now or wait until the end of the school year - at least you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

Roxy said...

I just found your blog through the secular homeschooling forum. I am so glad I did. You see I finally took my son out of ps for good half way through fourth grade for the exact same reason. As I read this post it was like reliving my son's kindergarten year. I acutally took him out that year for a month or so, but everyone thought I was crazy so I put him back in. Worst mistake I ever made. By the time I was so fed up and took him out it took years for my wonderful boy to come around and be himself again. But low and behold he has and it was so worth giving up all those wonderful things;) you mentioned to have him back again. You are doing a wonderful thing for your son. Oh, and his K teacher said that he had oppositional deffiant disorder after only two days. Funny he had never had behavior problems when he was in preschool. Come to find out she didn't like children. Why be a teacher?? I just don't get it.

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